Mental Health.

Today's post is a little more personal and I never thought I would actually go through with posting it, but f*ck it. Here's my little grain of sand and I hope it helps. I want to start off by saying that I am so F*CKING tired of people giving you shit for having a mental illness. You would think that by now people would be a little more understanding and open to the subject. The other day, I was watching the VMAS and saw that they were talking about mental health and how you should speak up about it. I thought wow, this is great people are actually going to be comfortable with speaking up, but some people are still so uneducated over this. They're so judgmental and don't understand that many times these things are out of your reach. I don't expect anyone to "understand" it, but stop judging people or acting like they can fix it.They really want you to be like "Yeah, I'm such a negative b*tch, let me stop and be happy!" 

About 4 years ago, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. At the time, it was really bad, but now it's gotten better. Although, I did have my fair share of trips to the doctor, psychologist, and meds. I still don't fully understand why, but peoples comments sure don't help. People would tell me that I was so selfish because "I had everything" and that "So much people would be so happy to have my life " or " You're not trying hard enough to get over it". That all of this could be fixed if I exercised or stopped being so negative. They blamed me for having something that I couldn't control. I didn't ask to have this! It's not that I'm being ungrateful or negative. They couldn't see me happy for a while because my illness was suddenly not real anymore. They don't understand that you can be perfectly fine and have it hit you out of nowhere. For a while, I chose to go on medication because I felt like I couldn't control it anymore. After, being on different meds for a while, I hated feeling so sluggish. Everyone I knew would say horrible things about how "they're so bad" and how I just gave up. . toxic, negative things that nobody wants to hear. I'm no longer taking them, but I feel like they helped me learn to cope. It was my decision to get off of them. I just want you to know that being on meds isn't giving up. If you need them don't let anyone tell you otherwise. 

This is something I don't usually share with people or friends because I've heard it all before. Except, you shouldn't hide it or feel ashamed of having it. The other day, I cancelled planes and someone told me that I had to stop using my anxiety as an excuse. In the past, I would probably overthink this comment and begin to believe that it's my fault. Now, I know it isn't. If your "friends" don't understand or even try to understand your mental illness, then they're not your friends. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. It's about being supportive and there for them. Surround yourself with these people. Don't be scared to cancel plans for self care. True friends will understand. Remember that it's okay to not be okay. Basically, what I'm getting at is that you shouldn't let these comments get to you because we all get them. They don't mean anything and they aren't true. It isn't your fault. Don't let this stupid stigma stop you from talking about it or getting help. There's nothing wrong with it or you. You don't have to go through this alone. If you talk about it, maybe it'll open the door for someone else suffering to talk about it and hopefully one day there isn't any stigma around it.